None of this account is in Chronicles, interestingly. That’s good news for us, though; we don’t have to read this sad story twice!
David was a great leader: under his reign Israel enjoyed a golden age. Also, remember how he had kept order among the band of malcontents he had led in his early days, how many people had been drawn to him, and how many impressive men were devoted to his service. He was also truly devoted to God, and worshiping God was an important part of his life and reign as king. So how did he raise such a bunch of selfish brats for sons?
It was common in ancient times for kings and princes to marry their sisters, as a means to keep royal blood pure. In those days human DNA was in good enough shape, being so much closer to creation than we are, that such marriages didn’t result in children with birth defects like they do today. So a marriage between Amnon and Tamar would have been not only socially acceptable, but celebrated. Tamar protested against his having sex with her outside of marriage. With that selfish act on his part, her life transformed from one of great promise and excitement as a beautiful princess of a great king, to one of dreariness. For no one would want to marry her, and she was hopelessly doomed to life in her brother’s home, never to enjoy her own husband and children and the social acceptance they gave her. Her life transformed from socialite to social misfit. So it wasn’t the rape that upset her the most; understandably, it was his subsequent refusal to marry her that grieved her. Although Absalom gave her a home, he wasn’t very supportive, telling her, “Do not take this to heart.” David did nothing more than get very angry, and so the injustice brewed bad feelings. What should he have done? The Law required that Amnon take care of Tamar for the rest of her life; David should have enforced that. Can you imagine Tamar’s pain when her father did nothing about her situation?
The matter didn’t go away, but Absalom murdered his brother, David’s eldest son, whom he would likely have expected to succeed him as king. When Absalom fled to the foreign king of Geshur, he was seeking refuge in his grandfather, his mother’s father.
Regarding the plight of the wise woman, David was taking justice in his own hands, departing from the provisions of the Law. The woman concocted a situation that made justice appear to be the wrong course. David got drawn in to her way of thinking! Just the fact that he was willing to bypass justice and the provisions in God’s Law indicated flaws in his rule and in his character. Step by step David let Absalom steer the course toward his full and unjust restoration, rather than be the leader he was supposed to be. Absalom was obviously very headstrong; do you suppose David made excuses for him because he was so headstrong?
The chariot and horses and fifty men running ahead of Absalom were ridiculous, and should have made anyone see through his false humility so that his attempt to gain support were too transparent to succeed.
So David was forced to flee from his own son’s attempted coup. He obviously remembered God’s promise that he would suffer violence in his home.
What can we gain from this story? Some insights about ourselves. If a fine specimen of humanity such as David can blow it so badly, so can we. What warnings can you take from this story?